Hi � I would love to get some feedback on my new short documentary. Would be hugely appreciated. Steph
I recently filmed a short documentary on a Kurdish Refugee Artist, it would mean the world to me if you could give it a watch and let me know your thoughts. Any criticism good and bad would be hugely appreciated.
https://youtu.be/Cqfy7VAHE80
Replies2
- Hi Stephanie, thanks for sharing your documentary. I'm not an expert on the history of the Kurdish people so I can't speak to that part of the document like Matei but I have made lots of these talking head docs so I have some thoughts to share.First up, it looks good from a visual perspective. Lighting is great for the main interview and the art is also beautiful and interesting to look at. He seems like an fascinating character too.My main takeaway would be that the film is too long for this story, especially due to the slow pace and choice of music. I think you can cut down the first half of the film to the highlights of his journey and how it affected him and mix it in with the second half when he talks about his art, which we want to know about as his work is the main visual throughout.I agree that you don't have enough b-roll to keep our attention. Normally for something like this I would get as much footage of him prepping, painting, washing brushes, walking through his studio, chatting to someone on the phone; literally any kind of movement or action is a huge benefit as it's just a sit down interview and painted artwork otherwise. Do you have more footage of him simply working on his art? If so, get it in there!He talks about some individual pieces at the end. Why did you not have them earlier in the film? I enjoyed this info and I would use these sections to break up the film so that we get a little breather as he goes deeper into a specific piece. You have two in there now, do you have a third? You could have one at the start, one in the middle and one toward the end? Also you cut to other artwork when he is explaining some of the pieces. I would avoid this as it's confusing and I ended up having to pause the film and stare at the piece to see the human figure, but the previous shot was from another artwork.The music, for my taste, is simply too slow and sad. It kills the energy of the film and makes him seem like a tragic figure, when I think he is the opposite. This is a man who has suffered a tragic past, taken a dangerous journey towards a new future and survived. To me, he is a success story and someone who can share the stories of his people through his art and storytelling. However the music did not give me this sense at all. Music is so important for this kind of work as it can drive the edit and story, keeping us invested at points and letting us go at others.I also agree about the placement of the radio mic. It looks like one of those new Rode mics? I would get a small mic with a wire to plug into in so you can hide the transmitter box and just have the radio mic head appear on screen. Or else record via a boom mic as suggested. You can also get a shotgun mic to put on your camera but it depends on the sound in the space you're filming as they are not as focused as the radio mics. Plus, if his scarf is annoying you and giving you bad audio, just ask him to take it off! Interview subjects are often far more accommodating than you think ;)Finally, the last hero image of him with the text on screen is odd. The formatting of the text means that some of the words cover his face when they don't need to. It's a small thing but I would try and avoid this in the future. You can rejig the text in the edit so that it is to the right of him and isn't distracting in this way.That ended up being longer than I thought! I still think you've gone a great job with it and wish you the best for the next one.
- @Matei-Alexandru Mocanu thank you so much for your feedback. I would have loved to share more about Kurdistan and it’s history, but I wanted to keep the documentary between 10-15min max, and mainly keep the focus on Shorsh’s journey, and showcasing that some preconditioned ideas about refugees are completely wrong.I completely get your point that the story should be more visual. Do you have any advice on how I could have showcased his journey in a more visual manner? I didn’t want to use any stock videos, and I had no other ways of showing the things he talked about. I’m completely new to documentary making, directing, interviewing, I’m learning as I go along and through watching tons of YouTube videos on how to film documentaries, so any advice would be hugely appreciated.In regard to the microphone, where would you place the boom mic? Somewhere above his head, out of sight? I have tried to hide the microphone but then the audio was extremely bad, too close to the material of his jumper and scarf, which picked up all the noise.
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