How do you keep taking 2 steps forward when life knocks you back 3?

Doesn’t it feel like sometimes you’re trying your hardest, and a few things are going right for you, but there is a force that is out of your control that every now and then takes you a peg back, knocks you off your feet, forcing you to start again in some way?

Well this morning, I was walking out of my kitchen door with my morning coffee to sit in the garden.

As I’m stepping through I have to quickly duck as I catch a glimpse of something in the corner of my eye.

“That spider web again, fuckin persistent spider”

There is a spider web in the corner of my door to the garden that is always coated in a complex bridge of spider webs.

Each morning, so I don’t catch a mouthful, I pluck the bottom string, so the web slightly collapses.

To my surprise, without fail every morning it is back.

But, it's bigger and stronger and slightly closer to wherever he’s trying to get to.

Just sitting in my garden sipping my coffee and looking up at it.

I could see something different I hadn’t seen other days.

This is exactly how I’ve felt my whole life.

In the same way, the annoying human comes along and ruins your beautiful masterpiece of intertwined silk, forcing you to start again.

I have these feelings of an outside force, testing and tugging at my limits all the time.

It could be a few weeks go by, a project goes well, a relationship rekindled or something as simple as all the lights are green on my way to work.

Then the next morning I get close-lined by the reality of life, something shit happens that I can’t control.

Now I could either wallow in it and just say life's unfair, which I have fallen prey to.

Or, like the spider, regardless of what happened I can get up the next morning and build that web stronger, faster with more focus.

One foot in front of the other, one step at a time, attacking the new day with determination.

But the spider doesn’t do it out of spite of the human.

The spider just does it because that is what they were put here to do with the tools they were given.

Be like the spider.

Life is shit sometimes but just dust yourself off and go build a bigger stronger web than yesterday.


  • There’s an infographic out there that uses 4 concentric circles.
    At the centre is the comfort zone.
    Next comes the fear zone (2) and beyond that lie learning (3) and growth (4).
    By this logic, two steps forward will get you into the learning zone.
    Three steps back will return you to the comfort zone.
    However, as you’ve been to the learning zone your comfort zone is a bit bigger.
    Which in itself is growth.
    (zone 4).
  • True, the best thing we can do is get up and trust the process, trust there's a learning for you there, because there always is. We can learn so much from things not going our way, because usually our way is the comfortable way, while a different way forces us to step out of that comfort zone and actually learn something and grow from it. Life has shown me time and again that it's not about things going my way, or my ability to control everything in my life (which is an illusion anyway), and that's also not what brings happiness, but more of a short term satisfaction. So the best thing to do is trust yourself, your ability to face whatever comes your way, and trust the process.

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