What practical steps do you take to build upon your own self-confidence and personal development?

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  • I'm going to share a story from a mate of mine that backs up the old cliches about; "practice makes perfect" or "the more i practice the luckier i get" etc.

    Mate of mine has a stammer... 10-15mins before a big work call, he picks some random numbers from the phone book, calls them and practices saying what he is going to say on the work call.

    I love this approach. Reminds me of the value of brave, hard, smart work & that amazing things can happen when you go out of your comfort zone.
  • @Alexandra (Lex) Hearth Hey Alexandra; I am going to start with two statements you made that were so profound: "Confidence is respect; you have to earn it" and "I don't understand how you could have self-confidence if you don't do the work" - these two are extremely important; thank you for sharing these. I do agree that building on your own confidence and personal development is a process, but with some patience, you will see how it will work out for your good. Thanks very much for your response :)
  • @Pat McNulty Hey Pat; thank you very much for your response and I can fully resonate with you. It takes a lot of time to build as you are always learning about yourself each day. In addition to that, I agree with what you said about leaving a certain skill alone if it does not click with you. It is very important not to put yourself in so much pressure, but be open minded to other ideas. Very important for a balanced mind and good mental health.
  • @Anna Negrini Hey Anna! I really like that, especially with working on projects outside of your comfort zone. It really gets you thinking on your feet more, but taking it one step at a time to learn gradually, and plus, the bonus is being able to learn something new, or identify an additional skill that you didn't realise was already in you. Thank you for your response.
  • I have a list of things I'd like to learn (work related or not) and when I have some time I try to tick something off that list. Also - if I have the opportunity - I like to work on projects that are a bit out of my comfort zone. Not too much ... just a bit ... so at the end I feel I've acquired something new.
  • Hey Esther, feel free to give me an email. I'd love to talk to you about this. But maybe a slightly lengthy conversation to post on here. You can catch me at elliott@20-something.com
  • Hi Esther, this is a really good question and one that I wish I'd paid more attention to early in my career - I wrongly made the assumption that the confident folks were just made that way.

    There are a couple of things I do. I've learnt that workwise, if I ask for something and I don't get it - repeatedly - that really makes my self confidence suffer. So I now have a rule that in any job / role / contract, if I ask for the same thing twice and don't get it, I move on. I realised I was putting up with stuff that I would never, ever entertain if it was equivalent in a relationship - I'd be guarding my self confidence and self esteem hawkishly - but I just didn't afford the same attention to my professional self, and it knocked my self confidence a lot.

    In terms of building it up for the long term, I think it's always about learning, being open to change, being adaptable and evolving. I'm an obsessive devourer of information related to my work - all aspects of it - and that really helps.

    With personal development, again, this is an ongoing project and I believe it should be for everybody. I've read a few books in the last twelve months that recommend spending a set amount (usually around 10%) of your take-home income on training, courses, personal development etc. I've found this a helpful guide, and it feeds directly back into the piece about confidence building.

    Hope this is helpful.

    Pat
  • Hey Esther - so Mindy Kaling wrote something about confidence which spoke to me and is the foundation for anything I'm confident in. She said: "People talk about confidence without ever bringing up hard work. That's a mistake. I know I sound like some dour older spinster chambermaid on Downton Abbey who has never felt a man's touch and whose heart has turned to stone, but I don't understand how you could have self-confidence if you don't do the work. I work a lot. Like, a lot a lot... I have never, ever met a highly confident person who is not what a movie would call a 'workaholic.' We can't have it both ways, and children should know that. Because confidence is like respect; you have to earn it." It might not be a popular answer but personally. I love it. Alexandra x

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