(DON'T) Man Up

“Man up” - to be brave or tough enough to deal with a difficult or unpleasant situation, to make an effort to deal with something in a way that is considered strong or manly. Telling someone to ‘man up’ is an archaic, outdated, toxic thing to do.In this day and age, perhaps we should reflect on these overused phrase and its meaning.There are so many wrongs to these two words. In the course of becoming a mature adult, we often unknowingly stifle the child within us. While this happens to almost everyone, men are specifically expected, forced to do so. You see a woman owning cartoon accessories and would forget it right after, because it is not that weird. But if a man were to do the exact same thing,harsher judgement comes along,for this is not what a fully grown-up man should be doing. The adult male gender is expected to be tough and solemn at all times. As a boy grows into adulthood, it is expected of him to dispose of all juvenile beliefs and passions, to face this reality like a man. Are humans,especially men not allowed to preserve their childhood dreams and desires, that they have to hide and suppress all things of innocence and purity? Deprived of creativity and unique mind, a man will not be complete. “Be like a man.” It seems as if having some childlikeness is a disgrace, yet with deeper inspection, it is this very child that society scorns, who provides us with the simple joy of life. These rules set by the community demand all to follow, that he who doesn’t possess all stereotypical masculine traits is a “pussy” “sissy”. In fact, having a Peter Pan inside can show the potentials of growth and open doors to newness. This is not to encourage you to be a man-child with sloppy shoulders, denying all responsibilities and duties. Rather, to put forward the message that having and embracing your inner child is not a bad thing as society tells all of us.Tapping into your child experiences is a form of self-care. “Each one of us has an inner child, or way of being,” says Dr. Diana Raab, a research psychologist. “Getting in touch with your inner child can help foster well-being and bring a lightness to life.” We were all once a child, and along the path of growth, we replace our once so wondrous qualities with selfishness, fear, doubt, greed and materialism. Society regards such childlike characteristics with contempt, viewing them as immature and not grown-up enough. Happiness seems so out of reach, and we fight so hard to gain happiness through extrinsic means, when the answer has always been within. There is no point in curbing our childish impulses, and perhaps we should all start invoking that pure, untainted kid inside of us. As we step into each day with advancement, we too should modify and improve our mindset. Do not kill your inner child, it is a part of you. Inside you is a little boy, a little girl, hidden away as your body goes through the passing of time.Not only should we nurture them, but also reactivate them into our daily lives. This internal child ego is a proof of growth, the foundation that sets who you are now. We are inclined to disregard and push away this innerself, but really, being in touch with it allows a deeper understanding of the self and stimulates personal growth. Having childlike qualities is not, and should not be a shameful character. Adding to the above is the misogynistic nature of this phrase. While this is not the major focus of the project,the flaws of this phrase should not be ignored. “Man up”, it seems to associate the state of toughness with the male gender, as if it was some sort of gender specific unique trait. And when telling a boy to man up, is that equivalent to telling him “don’t be a girl”, because being female is less, is weak, is cheap? Woman up, females can be strong too, some even stronger than man, physically and psychologically. Next time if you really need to tell somebody to act like an adult, use GROW UP, not this antique uncivilised version. Quit saying ‘Man Up’. Being gentle and emotionally sensitive is not a weakness, but a strength. And a young boy should not be told otherwise. The capacity to uphold, value and maintain human connection is not something to be ashamed of, but to be embraced.