“What Are You, a Photographer or a Prostitute?” By Ella McManus

“If I ever wanted to change career I would not be hired because of the nature of my work, so I really need to think about that.” Coronavirus really took a toll on everyone. It affected everyone’s lives in a different way; isolation, boredom, insanity, we all felt it, no one was left feeling secure and comfortable in the world we used to love in. In academia especially, we all had so much taken away from us. Lessons became taught over a screen, support turned into meaningless words, written on a generic email and our passions for our chosen study were put to the test. Taking photographs became experimental, but it was no longer fun; it was a necessity. However, in some part of the 2019 lockdown, I fell in love with self-portraiture and my passion for photography came back. Capturing my naked body through a lens was something I could do in isolation or with one other person on lookout, just in case I got into trouble for public indecency (touch wood, that has not happened…yet.) I took this love of nude self-portraiture into my final year of university and an adverse subject I knew I was going to face heavy criticism because society is constantly having its boundaries pushed and tested by the art world, that is what is so great about it, but I did not realise how held back I was about to become by the most important person within my academic year. Opportunities became lesser, doors were shut, and my work started to become cautioned for its “explicit” and “unnecessary content.” I was pushed to change my subject field because it “wasn’t going to represent the university well” and my views as a feminist became greatly shunned in front my other peers and colleagues even if I had stayed silent. During my third year, I had one person to turn to about my work, the same person that should have been guiding me to achieve as much as I could in an incredibly difficult time and become a photographer. Instead, his narrow mindedness in an incredibly open field, led him to shun my work and try and keep it at bay as, in his own words: “if I ever wanted to change career I would not be hired because of the nature of my work, so I really need to think about that.” I was disgusted and mortified. If my work wasn’t vulnerable enough, I was being degraded and penalised for exploring a subject that has been experimented with for years and it really set me back. For weeks I was left wondering whether to even continue with the course or whether to just give up and find something else because clearly, I was not good enough to practice photography. Miserable, in a time of such uncertainty in the world, the one thing I had going I was also being made to feel bad about and I was so close to quitting. But I used it instead. All the negative feedback, all the undermining comments and discouragement, I piled it all up and used it as a gaslight to fire the fuel within my work. I was no longer going to let some middle-aged, right wing, misogynistic mind steer my creativity anymore, it's everything that my work is questioning and here I am, sitting proudly on a first-class degree. It took some time though, this total disengagement for my work, from my one point of contact throughout such a horrible year really tested me and affected me so much and I know I am not the only one. I interviewed a variety of students, who would like to remain anonymous, and they have experienced just the same, or even worse. They have been told to: “keep that kind of work in the bedroom, yeah?” “that’s not the kind of work the university will be supporting.” Students, pushing their creative minds to their limits are being shut down by the people who are supposed to be building us as artists. Being told that they will be failed if they continue to make “that kind of work” and made to feel that they will never have a career. “What are you, a photographer or a prostitute?” Speaking to others, it has really made me question what has gone wrong in the academic sector within the arts. How many other generations of artists have to be tested to breaking point for someone to say enough is enough? Something needs to change; the arts will stop flourishing if the academic sector continues the way it is. So, what can we do? If you have any thoughts or a story you would like to share please email us: info@originalmagazine.uk