BLM script rewrite advice. 11 pages.

Link to script: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Re1voggs7atWAJuqao4AtjXHERV_ie2w/view?usp=sharing

Question

I've written a script for a BLM related animated project. I'd appreciate any notes or thoughts that writers and screenwriters could offer me.

I'm not sure if the ending is conclusive or instructive enough. Pages 6-8 could also use scrutiny.

Any notes and criticisms would appreciated.

It'd be cool if someone wanted to exchange script reads, I'm happy to read someone elses work.

I'd also appreciate thoughts from film & tv editors and directors.  I hope I've written the script so a reader  can visualise the scenes. If any scenes feel unclear or difficult to produce and edit, please let me know.

Reply here or at mitcheladu@gmail.com.

It's 11 pages long so... not to ardous I hope:)