A reflection on sex in quarantine
A part of my article on changed relationship with sex during isolation. Check it out on Pinky Promise Land's Journal section: https://www.pinkypromiseland.co.uk/journal/a-reflection-on-sex-in-quarantine
During the lockdown, the lack of sex as a deficiency of human connection showed me that it all comes down to that. Whether it’s basic politeness, friendship or a romantic liaison, it all comes down to openness, kindness and mindfulness. We run away from each other in the fear of getting hurt, hurting first, as a form of prevention. But we can stop participating in this race and live a life that matters. A life free from the layers of pretence, fear and insecurity. The sweet intimacy. Giving without expectation of receiving. Caring without punishment. What started as a hunger for sex became a social awareness. Thus, what I long for the most during this quarantine is human interaction, not orgasm. Who would have thought this realisation is emancipating for a young modern woman? I spent most of last year being on the exact opposite of the spectrum. My friends and I explored our sexualities and indulged in performing a constant feminist disassociation between sex and love. Men? Who needs them? Well, turns out I do. I gladly do need men and women too. Not just for sex but for other things. Like letting someone into the line in the supermarket. Smiling at a shy stranger. Going to the market with a friend. Helping a coworker with a love dilema during a cigarette break. The lack of sex permeated the truths on humanity that I forgot about in the chaos of daily goals and future projections.
Sex is not just a pleasure, it’s not a high-inducing substance. It’s a sweet and meaningful layer of life, just as important and profound as others. It does not have to be impersonal and uncommitted to be liberating. There is no sex without some sort of intimacy. It doesn’t have to play the primary role in every act but a seed of it is planted in each intercourse. And no matter how many times I’ve sworn I don’t need anyone, intimacy is what I miss the most in isolation and I hope we will come back to life fully aware of our collective power.