This party is certainly disseminated. Guests are plentiful, and I’m in high supply, of those of what I consider to be at that sweet spot; the familiarity of a half stranger, somebody who I can talk to without delving too much into what really makes up me as a person. That sweet spot where the person can establish all that I want them to, from the way I wear my hair, to whatever gaudy shirt I’m wearing that day.
“Heyyy! How’ve you been? What you’ve been up to?”
“Ahh, man not much, what’s going on with you?”-to paraphrase an entire conversation.
Upstairs, downstairs, outside into a garden where you see the orange firefly light of cigarette smokers in the night. Into an array of rooms with their own microcosms, I sit, and wait for conversation….Oh, hold on, who’s this, a new face, a friendly face is approaching me with the up most of gusto, a complete stranger. Here we are, face to face, I’ve caught the infectious smile and their intensive eye contact and it all seems to be a precursor to an agenda; getting to know me.
“Hey, what’s your name?”
The embryonic state of these words will soon mutate into a full on conversation. Beyond sharing my name, a quirky/funny anecdote about its pronunciation, I’m not really sure how to proceed other than a:
“What about you?”- a classic move; turning it back on the other person.
I listen intently to their response, thinking only about how to keep the conversation on them and not on my life in the slightest.
I can hardly hear what this person is saying. There’s a silent hum of white party noise and a flurry of people moving in all directions. It’s almost as if this atmosphere is a deliberate enabler of conversational distraction.
I remind myself to nod, smile and laugh in all the right places, all to aid me in the fact of keeping the topic off myself.
But the funny thing is, once you’re lost in a really good conversation there’s no avoiding the fact you’re inevitably going to reveal things about yourself. I talk about doing a degree in English, because the only thing I have ever been good at is bullshitting. I talk about how I would love to eventually combine that degree with learning animation, so I can make something from my incessant doodling habit.
I talk about how politically neutral I am (despite the annoyance of a person trying to start a political debate with me) and I talk about how I like music, in all forms.
That’s pretty much me, so if we ever meet at a party, let’s make sure to pick up from where I left off…