everything we needed to say

a mini album made up of my family members talking about their favourite memories. while also detailing how they see their future, present and past from where they are now in their lives. an important compilation of everything my family have needed to say but never found the time too. an album discussing what it's going to be like now that we are losing a father figure and husband. this was made for my family (& now you and your family too.)

this is what started the project off, before quarantine hit and i was no longer allowed to stay in London, having to move back to my small childhood bedroom, in a small town, my project was a lot different. i was going to create my own archive -- something i've been doing the whole of my life, but with my friends instead, using voice mails from them, taking photos of them and just recording what my life was like, at the current point of time.

march hit.

covid 19 started to get worst as i immediately packed my bags, leaving everything behind and hopped on a train back home with nothing but my laptop and the will to try and at least get some decent grades from uni.

the idea of documenting my friends no longer was possible for me, so instead i turned to asking them to send me voice memo's [which stemmed the whole idea with creating the album with my family] and talk about whatever was on their mind, at the time of recording. it also includes voice mails from my Nana and my Dad. i then used my own voice memo's i had collected of different sounds [such as, the tube, birds, sea etc] and put them all onto Garageband to create this little song.

this wouldn't be anything without the help of my musical friend, who helped me make it more sense, so the song would flow better.

i hope you enjoy [what was late nights and even earlier mornings] but the start of everything we needed to say.

THE ALBUM: EVERYTHING WE NEEDED TO SAY !

( I hope this brings you some form of comfort, something to think about or helps you feel something! )

FIRST TRACK ON THE ALBUM IS: DON’T WANT 2 FORGET. Don’t want 2 forget has the light sounds of birds chirping and a guitar melody that reminds me of one out of one of my favourite films soundtrack ‘Call Me By Your Name.’ I was completely inspired by Sufjan Stevens — specifically Mystery of Love and the way the guitar is just hand picked and it sounds so wonderful. Over the top of those soothing sounds, is the sound of my sister talking about a memory she doesn’t want to forget. That memory is about one of our many holidays on my family’s farm in Devon. This trip is where my dad joined us and despite being at the beginnings of his terminal illness was having so much fun with his life; playing badminton with the lodgers who were staying on the farm, as well as, dare I say it, drunk putting golf on the green with me and my sister. It was one of those memories we all like to cherish and I thought it had this really nice kind of light hearted, airy feel to the track; which ultimately is what led me to starting this mini album with this song. I didn’t want to go too heavy on the first track, as it gets heavier from track 2 onwards. I wanted to at least have something happy and light to welcome the listeners.

my dad talking about his future

while he still has one.

me talking about what my present life is like

and how i'm coming to terms with a

family member having a terminal illness.

this song is my dad describing his favourite memory, which was when i was born, it was our first new years together.

[see above]: album cover page!

the second soundscape from my sister, describing another memory from Devon. Devon is a very significant place for us, a place that my mother is going to move to once my Dad passes.

a short 8 second sound clip of me talking about always being stuck [hence the title]. we all have this tendency to get stuck in an era, or a part of our lives that we wish to hold on to. or sometimes something bad happens and you can't help but be stuck in it.

we always seem to hold onto things that are the reasons why we get stuck in ruts or stuck in an event that happens. it's like a never ending loop, i didn't think that this specific clip needed any music as it was just something that had been on my mind that i wanted to include. plus i think it's more impactful without anything else to distract you.

a story told by my mum about her time in st lucia, a favourite place of hers; a place she could have seen herself working and living in. a place she could have maybe even seen herself get married in. for my mum, st lucia quickly became a safe haven for her, a place she felt totally free of anything that tied her to the UK.

i hope she can feel that free again one day.

my last soundscape on the album is talking about what i hope my future to be, the main theme of the whole song being that i hope everyone in my life is happy -- i hope they feel peace or have found peace.

i hope to find peace too.

one day, at least.

this song is really special to me, it's not perfect, the mixing in places is off, sometimes it sounds a little odd, but that's what makes it so enjoyable for me. the sounds of the city, the birds, the old song playing, the guitar, the vinyl cracking is everything that encompasses my family ... everything that makes us ... well us.

it's talking about finding yourself.

it's about not being afraid that no matter how old you are, you will always eventually come back to yourself no matter how long it takes, no matter what life throws at you.

this closes off the album with my mother talking about her future, what she hopes her own future is going to be like.

it's something about asking your family these sorts of questions and putting them together into songs or soundscapes. i think it's important to have this sort of connection with your family and to be able to speak openly about your dreams and goals with one another.

i hope my mum finds herself again, this is an ode to her.