Below is a collection of extracts of interviews, conducted in the summer/autumn of 2022, with regulars at the Highgate Menโs Pond. These interviews highlight some of the physical and mental benefits from going to the Ponds and being part of the Pondโs community. Through these interviews, topics such as masculinity, mental health, community and tradition became central to the discussion. I am glad it unfolded this way as it reveals more than I could have hoped for. For this I have to thank the openness of the interviewees. If you donโt end up going to the Ponds, I hope the vulnerability on display by men here is refreshing and relatable. I suggest you read these interviews and see if what is being said resonates with you. I also urge you to go swimming in any of the ponds in Hampstead Heath as I believe action is essential to truly understanding the benefits.
Featured in: Swim Magazine, Camden New Journal, ACV Magazine, Red Bus Magazine, Outdoor Swimmer Magazine.
The interviews were given to the Community board to rebute governmental changes to how the ponds were run as they depict the true value that the ponds and the community around it bring. A zine was also created and given out to the community for free which was received very well.
๐๐ผ๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐๐๐น๐ป๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ถ๐น๐ถ๐๐ ๐ถ๐ป ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐บ๐บ๐๐ป๐ถ๐๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ๐ณ๐ถ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐?
"The idea of not being not being shy or worried, being able to realise that your experience isn't actually unique to yourself. Every other person is having the same kind of human experience and that's really helpful makes you feel like youโre not alone. As you get older friendships can be difficult because of family commitments- you don't get to see each other so often and we as people change over time. I feel that going to the men's Pond has been an anchor for myself and a lot of my mates because I might not be going to a rave with them anymore, but I know I can meet them here at three o'clock on a Sunday afternoon.
The Ponds have been a constant for me and my friends, and it's been a very good tool for communication. I had a mate who was going through some awful shit; he was having some really, really heavy mental health issues. I said, โjust come and meet me every Wednesday morning, let's go for a swim before work. I brought him up a nice flask of coffee and some pastries. It became a regular thing and it really chilled him out and now he's flying. He says that it was swimming in the Ponds regularly, that really helped him get through quite a bit of upset about relationships failing, getting old and never finding someone he loves. He'd had quite a lot of trouble coming out to his family and he met this bloke he was really into and he was really, really scared about introducing his fella to his parents. I think by swimming in the Ponds with him, he introduced his new bloke to all of his mates, and it was a really nice environment to meet my mateโs new boyfriend. I mean, its going to sound silly because of course he doesnโt have to come out to any of us, but I think it helped him know that we all had his back."
๐ช๐ต๐ ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ผ๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ถ๐ฒ๐?
I'm keen to not turn things down and to reach out more to people. Iโฆ you know, in terms of mental health, I feel quite isolatedโฆ sometimes, quite lonely. I wish I had more of a broader social circle. I wish I was a bit more outgoing and didn't simply listen to conversations but took part in them, and I tend to like it when I do.
(๐๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ)
Oh I know that guy from work, he is a fantastically good journalist, he's really shit-hot at finding stories. Yeah, if I saw him at the Pond, I'd say hello to him but perhaps I wouldn't at work, Iโd be more intimidated. Yeah, the Ponds are very good as a place where I tend to feel less intimidated by people and I'll be more outgoing. For some reason, more people like just talking to each other. They will just say โOh, thatโs a nice wetsuit, where did you get that from?โ or โWhy are you wearing a wetsuit for fucks sake itโs 19 degrees?โ So I'll tell them and then we'll talk.
Yeah, I feel like I need to apologise for it. I like being asked, โWhy have you got a wetsuit on?โ so I can say โbecause I'm a wimp!โ, not because Iโm a triathlete or whatever but because I get very cold. I really like it when I don't have to wear a wetsuit because then I feel like one of the lads.
๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐น๐ฑ ๐๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ต๐ฒ๐น๐ฝ๐ ๐๐ผ๐?
I go year-round and I'm missing the winter now to be honest. Itโs about 19 now and that's way high. A nice temperature for me is when I put my gloves and my booties on which is about seven/eight, but I like it when it drops because then it becomes a challenge. I think the coldest it was this year was two degrees and the lifeguards break up the iceโฆ the psychology of that and Iโm thinking, โboy Iโm almost doing what they do in Scandinavian countriesโ, yeah. That's part of the mental challenge that I think really helps me.
You know, Iโm trying to introduce some more Afro Caribbean people because of what itโs done for me. It's really sparked me. I wasโฆ I was a semi-pro basketball player. Yeah, knees are shot out but this did it for me. It was like a comeback after retiring, especially the cold water. I've done a few lidos, but this is the home for me. Hampstead Men's Pond is home.
This may be just me, but I suspect it isn't, I suspect it is also about my group of male peersโฆ that our relations are quite, difficult. You know, they're often friendships that have been going a long timeโฆ they need quite a lot of managing. They are like romantic relationships, like marriages. I have a reputation in my group of addressing things that make the others feel uncomfortable, that are to do with friendships, or to do with the behaviour of men.
I think my male relationships are just quite a lot of work.
๐ช๐ต๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐น๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ๐น๐น๐ฒ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐๐ป๐ฎ๐บ๐ถ๐ฐ๐?
Without blowing my own trumpet, Iโve read more books, Iโve done more therapy, or Iโve just invested more time and intellectual energy in it. My mates would maybe cast me as emotionally incontinent, but I'd rather that than be emotionally constipated โ to be unable to acknowledge, let alone address, these things in male relationships. Particularly with these very long relationshipsโฆ people are not very honest about their feelings for each other, essentially.
Also, when you get this very British thing, this sort of piss-take culture, you know, where everything is conducted as a piss-take. And actually, people are often hurting from what's been said, but if you show that it hurt you, then you lose somehow. That's like the surface level of the interaction between men. Then underneath, you've got the genuine feelings that they're really hurt, or they're upset. But to make a fuss, it's like, โoh, why are you such a sensitive flower?โ
๐ช๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฑ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ถ๐ฒ๐?
I think it's really interesting, masculinity, because I'm from a South Asian background, and traditionally, there are these gender roles which are, โoh, no, you're a man, you have to do thisโ. Even when someone says the word โmasculineโ to me, maybe the first thing one thinks is toxic masculinity. I think, for me, that's still the case based on my feelings towards it growing up. I would say, my 20s have been spent looking critically at these gender roles and saying โno, we don't have to be assigned to thatโ and breaking free is really liberating.
I can give you one example, maybe it doesn't really encompass gender, butโฆ yeah, in South Asian culture, mental health issuesโฆ people don't really talk about them. People sidestep them. For example, my dad has bipolar disorder. So for him, especially, it was incredibly difficult just talking about it with people. It reached a stage a few years agoโฆ it's hard to say exactly what the trigger was but he was just able to open up to me and talk about these things. It was amazing for our relationship and for him. Itโs something I've noticed with a lot of young men in my life. Part of the joy of maintaining these relationships is opening up and talking about these sorts of things. Especially with the Ponds, because my dad and I go swimming, and I go with my friends as well, and it's such a nice ritual to have.
I don't know. I think there's something about swimming in those Ponds, you feel amazing from it.
๐๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐บ๐ฎ๐๐ฐ๐๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ถ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฃ๐ผ๐ป๐ฑ๐ ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ณ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ผ๐บ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐บ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ผ๐๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐น ๐บ๐ฎ๐๐ฐ๐๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ถ๐๐?
When we arranged to meet, I was trying to think about thisโฆ because you don't really think about masculinity, or itโs not something that comes into your head that often. Maybe that's a part of what male privilege is, you know, slightly just bumbling along in your own little way without wondering what it means to be a man at this stage in time or stage in life.
When you do see articles about masculinity, they are probably preceded by the word โtoxicโ and anything to do with men generally is written in a negative sort of way. Which you can kind of understand, but at the same time, from a male perspective, it does probably get a bit wearisome. It may be nice to see something a bit more positive every once in a while, to get a bit of balance. But then you read stuff about incels or just fucked up versions of masculinity basicallyโฆ whereas your experiences just are not really like that. So, I don't know if we as men necessarily gets a balanced representation, but it's not hard to guess why. It's not newsworthy, or clickbait-y for the newspapers, โBoring blokes getting on with having a swimโ, you know, thereโs nothing much to report there.
A guy recently just started swimming here. Heโs an Indian guy and just lost his dad. He said he used to swim with him in the Ganges. When he came over, he was having issues with family, being in contact with them. But obviously the whole thing of losing his dad was a big deal. The first time I met him, he just started opening up straight away about quite personal and intimate stuff about his dad. People often refer to the Ponds as โTruth serumโ. Since he started swimming here. He said he started kind of feeling his Dad and just started a conversation with his dad while he was swimming. He said he didn't really have that swimming in an indoor pool, just up and down, itโs a bit more sterile. But here, he can kind of lose himself in thoughts and let his mind wander. Yeah. Itโs probably the different style of swimming that helps with that. Going to the Ponds is more for for the experience of being in water outdoors rather than just thinking how many laps around can I do?
Artwork was also created to create a more immeserve world for instagram posts, website and the subsequent zine that was created. A digital page is below.