I used to love reading—and writing—about productivity. The thought of achieving a balance between success and happiness was indeed alluring, and I was determined to find the right tools, refine the perfect system. Moreover, I wanted to help others do the same.
Then, COVID-19 happened.
My already declining mental health worsened. I was always tired, struggled to focus and dreaded the start of my workday. No matter how long I worked, I was not getting much done and had no energy to spend time on the personal projects that mattered to me.
What about the productivity hacks, the apps, the lists, and the routines?
None of them worked.
My morning routine consisted of me staying in bed for two hours after the alarm went off, groggy and anxious, only to rush to the kitchen to eat my breakfast in a hurry before work.
The planner I lovingly bought last year became a source of anxiety and guilt as unfinished tasks piled up and rolled over day after day, for weeks.
Blocking distractions meant that instead of getting distracted with YouTube videos, I stared at my screen in paralyzing fear, second-guessing every word of my emails and social media messages to my clients’ customers.
I used to love remote work—it gave me the chance to work with people from all over the world and companies in different industries and provided me with experiences and skills. But now, it was making me miserable.
However, I was missing the obvious: remote work was never the problem. The situations created by the pandemic were.
You see, working from home meant flexible schedules and not being tied to an office. More importantly, it was meant to be voluntary.
It never meant not leaving your home at all for two months, unable to meet with friends and relatives, forced to work without the right space and equipment, perhaps worrying about your health and financial stability while a worldwide pandemic wreaked havoc in society as we know it and killed hundreds of thousands of people. In the right conditions, we know remote work benefits companies and employees alike.
Work after the pandemic is an unknown world with new rules. To me, it seemed like the system I created to keep me focused and productive collapsed over my head and it left me trying to build a new one while nursing my wounds.
Have I found an alternative system? Not yet, but I’m getting closer. Read the rest on my blog http://remotemillennial.co/2020/06/27/i-stopped-trying-to-be-productive/