In 2016 I was faced with extremely painful news about the presence of growths in a loved one's brain. The metal trauma which is connected with this news motivated the development of this piece. In understanding that the brain attempts to reason and order the world I have been inspired by the unhealthy cognitive theorising which has been used to as an attempt to figure out why this is happening. Focusing on my discomfort in relation to this mental process I have produced an autobiographical exploration of causality developed to question the projection of the past on the present.