I would love some feedback on my first project. It's an essay I wrote for University. Anything would be appreciated!
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- @Deshon Smith: that was a well-written piece, evidencing persuasively what I imagine we all supected. Thanks for sharing.Where would you like the conversation around this to go next & how will you be involved in helping that to happen (if at all)…?
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- I really like your essay!
- @Deshon Smith "less of an absolute" - that's a much more compact way of saying what I was trying to say : ) For sure, if I use that writing in a class I'll be sure to credit or ideally just link them here.
- @Liam Hough First and foremost, thank you so much for reading my essay. I agree with you; maybe I should have made that statement less of an absolute, because I also think there are other reasons that we compare. I've read an extensive amount of research to write this essay, and like you said, it is a commonly believed position, but that doesnt make it the only position. Also, I'd be honored if you used my work, just please credit me (I'm sure you were going to). Thank you again, and I'll consider your advice on my next piece of work.
- Hey Deshon, thanks for sharing this - plenty to think about. I thought it was really well put together. The only thing I'd question in it would be the opening sentence: "Human beings instinctually compare themselves to others in attempts to better understand where they rank in society’s hierarchy (Festinger, 1954)." Just cos I think that humans do compare themselves with others and I think this is part of an instinctual urge to distinguish ourselves and to feel integrated at the same time, but I'd argue against just putting this down to hierarchical ranking alone. Or the sentence might better be rewritten in language that makes this statement sound less certain, even if it is a commonly believed position. Anyway, really liked the essay altogether. I teach English as a second language so might even use it with some students to generate some discussion or help with their writing.
- @Brinda Wachs Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!
- Dear Deshon,I read your essay and found it well-written, concise and engaging, bravo! Also well-edited avoiding repetitious statements. One thing jumped out as a possible redundancy: false fallacy:). Otherwise very well done!
- @Rob Wright There isn't a link. The project is on my profile. So, if you click on my profile, my first project can be found under the project section. Thank you!
- Are you going to give us a link, Deshon…?!
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