#028 : Regrets

  • Christopher Lutterodt-Quarcoo
  • Charisse Chikwiri

“We lost the moment, as soon as we attempted to preserve it.”

Image — Rain Room, Random International (Barbican) Soundtrack — Far Far away III, United Vibrations -
“Keep yourself restless and unsatisfied.” — Robert Greene
Anonymous : What is your greatest achievement?
CL-Q : It’s hard to say — not because I’ve had so many, but because I don’t take the time to acknowledge them.
Anonymous : -
“We lost the moment, as soon as we attempted to preserve it.”
Def. MISTAKE : An act or judgement that is misguided or wrong. - Def. REGRET : feel sad, repentant or disappointed over something that one has done or failed to do.
As we steer towards the finishing line of Emerging Journal, I’ve chosen this moment to disclose the failing rationalisations that have plagued this journey of exploration and perseverance. Many have made claim that I have achieved the goal of “Emerging”, concluding with the question ’What else do you need to prove and to whom?’ in which I gently replied…our life is about constant justification, if not to others to ourselves.
It’s too easy to assume the character of the meticulously calculated, endlessly proactive and highly favoured individual, but live the opposite. The pursuit of authenticity in the social media world can cost your life in reality. If we fail to acknowledge it in ourselves our insecurities will enable us to witness it in our peers and closest friends — let the Instagram stories testify.
With two months remaining to the looming deadline, energy is low, motivation is waning and the objective has become unclear. Why are we doing this? The pursuit of acknowledgement is the indirect willing commitment to indentured servitude. It dawns on me, if we acknowledged our own successes, crafted our own opportunities (no matter how humble) perhaps this millennial generation wouldn’t be so disappointed in life.
Nevertheless, here we are; overeducated, inexperienced and impatient. The past eight months have been littered with ignorant mistakes, glaring regrets and valuable lessons. to which two continue to impact the work of ascension of Unmaterialised & The Advrsry. Firstly, the absence of a partner, (which was the paramount decision in attending the Royal College of Art) as many visionaries will attest to, excessive commitment inevitably leads to a numbing cloud of subjectivity, in which objectivity from an outside party plays the saving grace of all public facing works. The privilege to share a vision has fuelled the greatest movements in human civilisations and established markers for their efforts. Yet here we stand with thousands of followers, friends and supporters and not a single person to call a business partner. Is that a testament to the company we keep or the mentality of today society?
Secondly, I made the un/conscious decision of choosing productivity over effectivity, where the act of being present is to be absent from development. Granted, one cannot exist without the other, the desire to maintain momentum by extending your 15 minutes in the spotlight is a potential sign of doubt in your ability to attract attention once again, saying more about self-doubt than the challenges of the industry.
Picking your moments is what fundraising is built on and that comes with having your thumb on the pulse of your sectors of interests.
Follow @iam_clq for updates.
In partnership w/ Shades of Noir