‘Don’t Tell Me How To Feel About You’ is a personal piece I created that was born out of the feelings I had toward past lovers who had wronged me. I created this piece in order to give myself the opportunity to say the things that I have felt in response to these men that I never got to say at the time. I created the ‘Boyfriend’ as a vessel for my rage and distress and progressed from that point. Allowing him to embody the different lovers through clothing and the way I interacted with him. I took him out in public on dates in order to see how the public would react to us but also to simulate companionship that was cut short. I wanted the opportunity to get things off my chest as well as giving myself a safe space to experience intimacy and companionship without opening myself up to cruel remarks and actions from real people. The piece evolved into a film in three chapters following some organic, spontaneous writing of spoken word pieces about three of the most hurtful lovers. I wanted to portray in film the outcomes of the relationships that I had wished for in contrast to the stories of hurt, betrayal and manipulation. I hope to continue these experiments in self-care and recovery in the future which will culminate in a public display of rage to allow me to process the anger I have been feeling for some time and have not yet dealt with.
Camera: Christine Geiger