Have you ever experienced bullying at work? How did you deal with it?
As part of our 'Get Respect' training programme we are taking questions and featuring strories from our network on our weekly podcast "What should I think about..?" https://whatshouldithinkabout.podbean.com/e/ep-25-learning-to-become-assertive/.
Stephen Mather, trainer for 'Get Respect' talks about his own assertiveness journey after leaving a high control group, falling into aggressive behaviour and then learning about assertiveness techniques. Then at 35 minutes he takes a question from a learner: "How do I deal with a boss who's bullying me?"
Replies7
- Are there any independent organisations that can advise on individual cases and how best to formulate/tackle them in a formal grievence?
- @Javier Navarro Interesting - when you said you worked on acknowledging your own responsibility in the situation - do you mean that you had to think about 'not bullying back' or something else?
- Hi,Unfortunately I have experienced bullying at work and I must say in my case it was both a soulcrushing and enlightening experience.To anyone in the same predicament I would say:- Try to stick around as briefly as possible, things will get really toxic very quick so the sooner you get out there the better.- If this is part of a larger/systemic issue in the company, try to talk to someone who can make a difference from the inside in order to prevent the same situation for future employees.- Bullying is a team sport: bullies usually operate in packs because they find in larger systems/structures the strength they lack as individuals. So as personal as it feels, it is not as individual as it gets.- In my experience I understood that bullying is a vicious circle and most bullies have been heavily bullied in the past, so they decided to swap roles and become executors rather than victims. Being aware of this helped me cut off from that same circle and move to a healthier place in life.- I mentioned enlightening because I worked on acknowledging my responsibility in this situation (and by that I absolutely do not condone bulling or think anyone deserves it) and that helped me not only move but better know myself in order not to repeat patterns. For me this was more focused on how I dealt with conflict, I guess everyone has a different learning route.I really hope nobody needs to go through this in the near future because it really was a terrible experienc.We all need to redefine together the notions of success and ambition in large structures, as these many times promote a toxic environment for the sake of results.Hope this helps!
- @Antony Gee That sounds like a sad case of a business not taking it seriously.
- @Katherine Luna Gate Thanks Katherine, I will give you a shout.
- I have a couple of stories to tell that would be good to share for this. Please reach out at soulcreations12@gmail.com if still interested :)
- I reported a series of bullying incidents from staff members - including arranging anonymous witness statements. It was investigated for 1 year - despite there being unanimous agreement that there was a case of systematic bullying it was 'swept under the carpet'. Most of the bullied members changed employer.
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