Image 1 Description: On a purple background, there is an illustrious by @dandydoodlez of Sulaiman. With tattoos on each wrist (a fountain symbol on one representing creativity and abstract compass/arrows on the other representing adventure) and a newly shaved head, Sulaiman (a South Asian, disabled man who is wearing his slim dungarees shorts in white with rainbow side stripe on the side of each thigh, his orange sunglasses, his silver pendant, and his new silver signet ring on his pinky finger on his left hand) sits in his power wheelchair in his garden, and he’s smiling.
Image 2 Description: The front cover of The Handi Book of Love Lust and Disability. A purple cover with an illustration of a power wheelchair joystick with leopard print underwear strewn over the black joystick. Blue stylised writing which reads: "The Handi Book of Love, Lust and Disability.
Written 1 October 2020.
CW: Adult content, adult language, ableism, racism, trigger warning, et cetera.
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“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” — Maya Angelou
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I’m a featured author! I am delighted to announce that I have the enormous privilege of being included in ‘The Handi Book of Love, Lust & Disability’; a powerful collection of stories, art, poetry and photography from artists, influencers and activists in the #disabled #community, about all things romance, dating, #sexuality and #disability.
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In a world that still wants disabled people dead and treats every aspect of our beings as a commodity in every way–for example lookup: marriage equality (or equity as it should be) or lack of when it comes to disability, the forced sterilisation of disabled people in Spain, and the euthanasia laws of disabled people in Japan–I believe it is vital to share these narratives from disabled people ourselves since it’s never heard. For me, I’m still figuring out where I fit within disabled masculinity, and the daily struggle with internalised ableism is real. I just know that I don’t accept ableism or racism in any way nor do I wish to be a part of toxicity in any form.
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When you are disabled, you are very much considered to be asexual, or people think that you can’t have a relationship or get married. No one ever talks to you about relationships/sex/family etc. no matter what you feel or believe. There’s no agency for disabled people to choose how we wish to live OUR lives.
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As opposed to making genuine connections I long for, and wanting to feel like I belong, I find that strangers asked the most open and intimate questions about me.
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So to embrace any further inevitable, inappropriate conversations, let’s get the awkwardness out of the way with the front runners:
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Does everything work? Yes.
Can I have sex? Obviously.
Have I had sex? None of your damn business. All I will say is that I have infinite imagination within limitations.
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And, as a bonus, all profits from sales of the book will be ploughed back into the development of the first-ever line of sex toys designed with and for disabled people via That's Handi!
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Get your copy here: thatshandi.co/collections/pre-order
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Also, I am growing into my truth. For me. Because of me.
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“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” — Audre Lorde
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N. B.: If anyone has the urge to call me “an inspiration” or “brave” or you think disabled people can’t/shouldn’t have sex/a relationship/a family if we choose after reading and seeing this post, please don’t. I think you have missed the point of this post and may have to check your ableism. #IAmNOTYourInspirationPorn nor here to inspire you into nothing. Let me be, get out of my way, and let me live my life on my terms.
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#creativity #equity #intersectionality #BeBoldBeWildBeFearless #HandiBook #ThatsHandi #PleasureWithinReach #LoveLustAndDisability #SexAndDisability #RedefineSexy #DisabilityAwareness #SexPositive #Inclusivity #SexualPleasure #DisabilityRelationships #ButYouDontLookSick #AllBodiesAreGoodBodies #InvisibleDisability #DisabledLivesMatters #DisabledAF #DisabledPeopleAreSexy #DisabledPeopleAreHot #DisabilityRights #DisabilityJustice #DisabilitySolidarity